A Shame & Anger Video

The Calssic Syndrome of Anger & Shame

This seems to be a classic syndrome of anger/shame: a parent leads us into sin, we sin and feel shame, and feel anger at the parent for causing us to sin and anger at God for allowing us to sin. We judge the parent for the sin, judge ourselves, and feel trapped in guilt. This guilt seems so recalcitrant (unable to be removed) that we bury it somewhere deep inside and it becomes a monster which comes out of the cave to scare us everytime something reminds us of the original sin we committed to trap us in guilt. If anyone has any similar experiences please post a comment to let us know. We need to establish an understanding of how to get out of this trap.

One Person's Experience with Anger and Shame

This is the experience of anger and shame reported by someone else: "I felt anger and shame about my abortion. When my parents found out that I was pregnant they decided to quietly resolve the situation by not letting the church know. I felt that their reputation in the church was more important than my feelings of confusion, my sadness. I'm angry at my mother for allowing me--and sort of dragging me--to the clinic. I had no say. My feelings and my thoughts didn't matter to her. Now I feel shameful that I'm angry at her and I can't seem to forgive my parents. I'm angry at myself for allowing them to bring me to the clinic. I'm angry at God for allowing this to happen."

On the Relationship between Guilt and Shame

Once we recognize the presence of buried guilt, and then move on to uncover buried judgement, we often encounter a tangle of anger and shame at the crux of our judgement of another. This is an interesting phenomenon because it is this entanglement of anger and shame that often makes the next step of the process of healing--feeling the hurt of the wound--so difficult.

Progress on Overcoming Guilt-Related Anxiety

The main problem I've been encountering in this fight has been the difficulty in overcoming my own judgemental attitude toward others. I consider that overcoming judgement is a prerequisite to overcoming guilt, as guilt is merely the application of one's own judgement toward self.

For me, overcoming judgement means uncovering one's own feelings of bitterness. These feelings are often buried, as they are unpleasant and not socially acceptable within the family or the community. Asking God to allow oneself to feel their true feelings is a first step toward unburying hidden emotions. In these exercises, calling upon the presence of Christ to hold you in the midst of your ugliness is a necessity to allow one to face his or her own sin.

An excellent resource for anxiety-sufferers

I am very partial to a certain approach to emotional healing which is advocated by a ministry in New York City that is gaining increasing recognition, LIFE Ministry, New York. It was started by a woman who came out of lesbianism and now helps others who are desiring to come out of homosexuality (to overcome the roots of homosexual addiction). The ministry's website has many excellent articles on the causes of anxiety. Here is a link to one: LIFE Ministry

Renouncing the lies in the process

This brings to mind another point which I did not mention in my first blog: each of the stored emotions you deal with has lies associated with it which serve to keep it active in your soul and trap you in the same pain you experienced as a child. These lies must be renounced as they are uncovered. In order to do this it is essential to have the help of a friend who is gifted in this type of deliverance to accompany you in the process.